Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Psychic Hotline. What's your question?

UPDATE - Tonight as I was sitting in my car with the windows down, in the church parking lot, reading about Catholicism and waiting to go inside to the class, I smelled that sweet smell again. This time the scent was that of mum's. I breathed in the smell for several minutes. I even looked around, thinking that those mum's had to be close by. Of course there were no flowers in sight. I was in the middle of a parking lot, for heaven's sake! Immediately I felt that my late husband was there with me. That he was giving me this sign to let me know that he approved of where I was and the reason for being there.

You're probably wondering why I would post this sign. And a few of you are aware that my name is "Brenda". I go by BJ just because it's much easier than giving my full name. I have a Polish last marriage, of course. And it's just easier to give the short of both. And because my late husband's name was Bob, this sign had significant meaning to me.

I encountered this sign when I was in Tennessee in June. My nephew, his wife and his two daughter's, and my sister and I went to a little eat-in restaurant....where we enjoyed a light dinner. As we were leaving, my nephew pointed out this sign. When I saw it, my mouth dropped open and out came, "oh my gosh". To say that I was dumb-founded would be an understatement. I felt all kinds of emotions.....I had goose bumps that covered my body. Chills ran up and down my spine. At that immediate moment I knew that this was a sign from my husband, letting me know that he was there with me. And I didn't want to leave without taking a picture of it.

I have had a number of different experiences since he passed away. For many years I would dream that he had left me for another woman. The other woman was never really clear in the dream. It was always that he just wasn't with me but with someone else. It was so real......and it really did disturb me. In fact, I thought about seeking counseling because even if I wasn't dreaming it, I was thinking about those dreams a lot. I mentioned my dreams to a few of my closest friends. And I really believe that through talking about it, it helped me to come to terms with why I might be having them.

Another experience that I had was soon after he had died I had been sleeping and awakened to the feeling that the covers were being pulled from the bed and the sensation that someone was getting off of the bed. It was so real that I could not open my eyes. I laid there, afraid. Eventually I opened my eyes and felt that my husband had visited me there. In my thinking, he was there with me. I will always believe that.

What I'm about to tell you is simply ironic. But this is what happened. One morning as I was coming down the stairs, I smelled the sweetest smell of flowers. The smell that I associate with a funeral home. It was so sweet and I savored that smell. I didn't say anything to my daughter because it had been a difficult few weeks and I tried very hard to hold myself together as best I could for all of us. She was missing her dad very much. But she said to me, "Mom, I just smelled the sweetest smell. It smelled like flowers". When she said that I had to tell her of my same experience.

The smell of flowers didn't end there. My husband's brother, who passed away this past June, called me frequently after my husband's passing. Both he and his wife were just wonderful to me. But on one of the evenings that he called, he mentioned to me that he had been in his home and had smelled the sweet aroma of flowers too. I shared both my daughters and my experience with him about "flowers". We laughed about it and we agreed that "he" was making his rounds and making sure that we knew he was there with each of us.

It wasn't too long after that that I received a phone call from my husband's daughter who lives in Florida. And she proceeded to tell me a story of an experience that she had just had. You guessed it!

I rarely dream of him. But he is constantly on my mind. I think of him and talk about him all of the time. It has been almost five and a half years and I still miss him terribly. I don't cry as much anymore. But at certain times my longing for him and thinking of him is accelerated. An of course, birthdays, anniversaries and holidays are always the worse.

I wrote this post, not because I am seeking sympathy. I am really doing fine. And time does have a way of lessening the aching of the heart. I wrote this post because I often wonder if anyone else has ever experienced anything like I have written about. If you have, I would love to hear about your experiences. Do you think that you can have connections to the deceased? Or do you think I am just plain crazy? Well, I am a little crazy. But aren't we all? You have to be to be able to survive in this world.